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NYC Best Weekend Bets
November 15, 2012 | 10:00AM

Oh hey, weekend; JUST IN TIME! I (as many fellow Americans) am looking forward to the VERY BEST time this weekend, so just sit back and enjoy the ride, yeah? (Today’s post will be punctuated by whales, by the way…THANKS, DRAMATIC READINGS OF ‘MOBY DICK’ ON FRIDAY!)

THURSDAY

  • Let’s kick off the weekend in poor people style by hitting up some FREE BOOZE situations. First, there’s this Tiger Pong Rally at PIPS; there’s free beer, free ping pong AND free food, and basically zero reason not to go.
  • But if for some reason ping pong’s not your jam, maybe this FADER / New Era flagship store event would suit you? There’s free Budweiser, whiskey AND a guaranteed hangover! WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE?!
  • “I don’t drink beer OR whiskey, Megan.” Well, 1) guess we can’t be friends, and 2) you sound smart, so why not head to Smart Up Brooklyn? According to the flier, you can EAT, DRINK, DANCE and/or RELAX; in other words, it sounds like there’s something for everyone for the low price of $10!

  • No one’s trying to NOT see Sharon Van Etten tonight, though, so let’s all just head over to Town Hall later, yeah?
  • Although I hear people are pretty into Matt & Kim as well, so if you would place yourself in that category of general enthusiasm, get over to Terminal 5 IMMEDIATELY.
  • Although, who really wants to leave Brooklyn, anyway? No one, so let’s go to Glasslands instead, where $10 gets us into musical prodigy Rafiq Bhatia’s album release party!

  • Unless of course you’re a CHEESE fan; head to The Homestead for cheese, snacks and DRINKS.
  • Plus, now that we’re so full of alcohol, we’ll be in TIP-TOP SHAPE for “How to Cut Your Own Hair 101.” (See also: remember what Kevin McCallister’s mom cut her hair and it was terrible? DON’T DO IT.”
  • OR, maybe we should try to line our stomachs with FREE Stella and semi-FREE food at The Deli Reinvented! YUM! FREE!

FRIDAY

  • It’s been a long week, yeah? So I highly suggest we go have a dreamy time at this High Highs show.
  • But who are we kidding; we’re really hungover, so let’s just go postpone the headaches and nausea via MORE ALCOHOL! For instance, Thee Open Mic, featuring poets, vocalists, producers, FREE DRINKS ALL NIGHT, etc., sounds like a good place to start.
  • We should also probably swing by this Mishka x Harvey Comics party, though, because, you know, Richie Rich and Baby Huey or whatever.

  • “Who is Richie Rich? Who is Baby Huey?” Okay, don’t go to that last thing; instead, let’s head to the IPA Curry Fest uptown! It’s exactly what it sounds like, aka beer and curry, and the best part is that part of the proceeds go toward helping Sandy victims. So what are we waiting for? Let’s HURRY HURRY HURRY AND GET SOME CURRY!
  • If you’re not into curry, though (weirdo!) then there’s always pizza, aka a universal favorite. Swing by Roberta’s for this Rockaway Relief Pizza Party, where $30 gets you unlimited pizza and beer. (Seriously, we have to go.)
  • And now that we’re so full of pizza and beer and good deeds, we’ll have plenty of energy to endure this marathon reading of Moby Dick!

  • “That sounds like Ishma-hell, Megan.” Yeah right, Melville is the bomb dot com! Are you an animal rights activist or something? If so, maybe you would enjoy this course at Whole Foods called Beyond the Bird: A Vegan Thanksgiving. NO WHALE HUNTING INVOLVED!
  • Or maybe you’d just prefer to drink some holiday-inspired wines, because no one has a drinking problem when festiveness is involved! Head to The Homestead for this course, complete with wine AND snacks.
  • Although maybe we just feel like getting weird again, in which case we can revisit the Dan Deacon experience from earlier this week tonight/
  • OR, we could ALSO go dance up a storm at Midnight Magic’s album release party tonight, which is going down at Cameo Gallery!

SATURDAY

  • In our hungover confusion, let’s try to say Rubblebucket ten times fast. THEN we will go see them for real at Bowery Ballroom with Reptar! (See also: HALT I AM REPTAR.)
  • But just in case we didn’t get our fill of Matt & Kim, there’s ANOTHER opportunity to catch them live tonight at the Wellmont Theatre.
  • But who wants to see music NOT benefiting Sandy victims? (Answer: No one. No one wants that.) SO, let’s go see THIS heavy-hitting lineup at St. Ann & the Holy Trinity, featuring Devendra Banhart, Real Estate, Vampire Weekend, Dirty Projectors, Cass McCombs, The Walkmen, etc.

  • And since we’re on a benefit kick, let’s head to this edition of Party Like It’s 1999 where we can dance to nineties favorites in the name of fundraising!
  • Of course, if you’re more into the literary side of things, you can head to this #SandyHatesBooks event featuring refreshments, readings by authors like Paul Auster, AND a miniscule $10 entry fee to help out heavily-affected powerHouse Arena.
  • After all that fundraising, we are FAMISHED, right?! Well let’s go do this Snackin’ Tour of NYC Seasonal Markets!

  • Or if you’d prefer your snacks with a side of KNOWLEDGE, then let’s head to Whole Foods AGAIN today for Know Your Roots: “Underground Cooking” in which we will learn everything we ever wanted to know about root vegetables!
  • “Great, but where’s the ALCOHOL, Megan?” COOL YOUR JETS, I’m getting to that right now; there’s ANOTHER Sandy benefit situation, only this time it’s a food crawl in the East Village to help the restaurants who lost out on so much business during the hurricane and aftermath. There are PLENTY of places to get your drink on for a good cause, so let’s heavily consider, yeah?
  • There’s ALSO the NYC Beerathon, which is exactly what it sounds like: a marathon of beer! BEER-U-TIFUL!
  • “Beer isn’t very classy, Megan.” True, and neither am I, but if you MUST know, there’s an alternative alcoholic option at the 3rd Annual Holiday Spirits Bazaar, where you will get drunk festively!

SUNDAY

  • Let’s spend our Sunday with some lovely and talented fellows called Father Figures, who will embark on a three-night residency at Muchmore’s tonight.
  • OR, we can grab free beer, snacks AND knowledge at Signal for Presentation Party Night!
  • Although maybe you’re planning on having a last-minute Thanksgiving this year, in which case you should DEFINITELY plan ahead at this Whole Foods course, titled “Last-Minute Thanksgiving.”

  • ALTHOUGH, if you plan to plan ahead, maybe you’d like to share your mildly healthy recipes with other like-minded fitness people, in which case you should head to this Turkey Day Recipe Swap.
  • Who needs to think about Thanksgiving ALREADY, though? It’s still DAYS away, so let’s go dance our faces off at this Sandy relief show featuring EIGHTEEN BANDS!
  • If we’re more in rendition mode, though, then I vote we hit up LPR for this week’s edition of Dan Neustadt; he’ll be playing Sting’s ‘Dream of Blue Turtles,’ and we will be enthralled!

WHOA THAT WAS A LOT OF STUFF! Did I forget something, though? Send it to the comments and/or on Twitter at @BYTNYC!

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